Redefining Family: Beyond the Nuclear Model

The traditional nuclear family model, consisting of a married couple with children, is no longer the norm. Only a small percentage of Americans fit this mold. However, laws and societal expectations often lag behind these changing realities, leaving many families feeling excluded from essential benefits and support. The article delves into this issue, highlighting the work of Diana Adams, founder of the Chosen Family Law Center, who is leading a movement to redefine family and update laws to reflect the diverse realities of families today.

The Importance of Family Choice

Adams argues that the ability to form family in a way that aligns with individual preferences is a fundamental right. This is not about being against marriage, but rather about recognizing that marriage is one option among many ways to create supportive and stable family structures.

• She highlights that less than 20% of Americans are in their first marriage, living in a nuclear family with children, indicating that the vast majority of people are creating families in different ways.
• Adams emphasizes the idea of family choice as a feminist issue, similar to reproductive rights, where individuals have the autonomy to decide how they want to build their support networks.
• She argues that this choice can even strengthen marriages, as it recognizes that love and partnership can exist beyond the traditional nuclear family model.

Expanding the Definition of Family

Adams emphasizes that the legal definition of family needs to be expanded to include the diverse ways people are forming families today. This includes recognizing the rights and needs of LGBTQ+ families, single parents, multi-partner relationships, platonic co-parenting, and extended family units.

• She highlights the increasing prevalence of platonic co-parenting, where individuals who are not romantic partners choose to raise children together, often based on strong friendships or familial bonds.
• Adams emphasizes the importance of recognizing and supporting collective housing and childcare cooperatives, which provide mutual support for single mothers and create a sense of community.
• She acknowledges the growing number of single adults who often lack the legal and social support networks available to married couples, making it difficult to navigate healthcare decisions, access benefits, and receive necessary care.

The Need for Legal Recognition and Protection

To address the limitations of existing laws, Adams has been working to advance legislation in New York and beyond to better recognize and protect diverse family structures. This includes advocating for legislation that recognizes multi-partner configurations, protects the privacy of transgender individuals seeking name changes, and addresses family status discrimination.

• The Chosen Family Law Center has been instrumental in drafting model ordinances for municipalities, which have been adopted in several cities, allowing individuals to register as domestic partners regardless of their relationship status or sexual orientation.
• Adams highlights the need for legislation prohibiting family status discrimination, which prevents discrimination in housing, employment, and other areas based on a person's family status.

The Importance of Social and Legal Change

Adams emphasizes that changing laws is just one part of the equation. Social attitudes and perceptions also need to evolve to create a more inclusive and supportive environment for diverse families.

• She encourages people to be more mindful of the circumstances of those around them, especially those who may be single, LGBTQ+, or part of a non-traditional family structure. This can include offering support, being understanding about family commitments, and challenging assumptions about what constitutes a "traditional" family.
• Adams calls for a shift in the way we talk about families, moving away from the “traditional”/“non-traditional” dichotomy and recognizing that extended and multi-generational families are the norm, not the exception.

The Future of Family: Unbundling Rights and Embracing Choice

Adams envisions a future where many of the legal benefits currently associated with marriage are unbundled and become available to all citizens, regardless of their family structure. This would create a more equitable system where everyone has access to the same rights and support, regardless of their relationship status.

• This includes access to healthcare, tax benefits, inheritance rights, and other benefits that currently favor married couples.
• Adams believes that unbundling these rights would allow people to create families that meet their individual needs and preferences, without being limited by outdated legal definitions.