Coffee Over Lunch: A VC's Perspective on Meeting Etiquette

This article provides insights from a venture capitalist (VC) about the best ways to request a meeting, focusing on whether to ask for a coffee or lunch. The author emphasizes that busy executives, including VCs, often find lunch meetings time-consuming and inconvenient, especially for initial meetings with unfamiliar individuals.

The author's advice is geared towards the US business context, and may not be universally applicable.

The author clarifies that the article is not directed at any specific individual, but rather aims to provide guidance for entrepreneurs and young professionals navigating the world of business meetings.

Why Coffee is Preferred for First Meetings

The article strongly advocates for coffee as the preferred choice for initial meetings, particularly for speculative encounters. The author suggests that offering to bring coffee to someone's office is a respectful way to request a brief meeting.

The author believes that a 30-minute coffee meeting at the recipient's office is more convenient and less imposing.

Offering to come to the individual's office demonstrates a willingness to be accommodating.

Limiting the request to 30 minutes, and adhering to that timeframe, increases the chances of a positive response.

When a Coffee Meeting Might Not Be Appropriate

While coffee is generally favored for initial meetings, there are situations where a different approach might be more suitable. If you have a high-intent meeting with someone who has expressed interest, you can propose a brief meeting at their office without specifying a time limit.

High-intent meetings could involve business development, pitching investors, recruitment, or sales.

The author emphasizes that, in most cases, the person requesting the meeting should be the one traveling to the recipient's location to minimize inconvenience.

The author admits that they would be open to lunch or breakfast meetings with highly senior industry figures who have requested their time.

When is Lunch Acceptable?

While coffee is often preferred, the author acknowledges situations where a lunch meeting could be appropriate.

For established relationships, a lunch meeting can be acceptable, but it's still recommended to first offer a meeting or coffee and then mention lunch as an alternative.

Lunch is more acceptable for peer-to-peer meetings, such as between startup CEOs or venture capital associates at similar levels.

Lunch can be a good option if your meeting time coincides with lunch, but you should always ask if the other person has plans.

When traveling, individuals may be more open to lunch meetings due to having less family time.

Group dinners are often a good way to network and introduce people to each other. Having a "senior anchor" can help attract attendees.

Tips for Asking for Coffee Meetings

The author provides some tips for asking for coffee meetings, focusing on making the request more approachable.

Use the phrase "quick coffee" to convey a shorter commitment and avoid making it seem like a lengthy obligation.

Instead of asking directly if you can buy them a coffee, offer to bring them coffee at their office. This adds a small gesture of service.

Be clear about the time you are requesting, preferably 30 minutes, and be respectful of their time.

Final Thoughts on Coffee Meetings

In conclusion, the author emphasizes the importance of being mindful of the individual you are meeting, their level, the nature of the meeting, and the established relationship. The author's advice encourages a polite and less imposing approach, particularly when requesting initial meetings with individuals higher up the professional ladder.

It is generally recommended to start with a "soft ask" for coffee and then offer lunch as an alternative if appropriate.

Be mindful of the time you are requesting and consider how much of a commitment you are asking for.